I wasn't going to post or write anything today. It wasn't that I didn't want to write, but it seems that everything just wasn't work out right for me today. Emotionally, I wasn't feeling the greatest - not depressed, but just down in spirits. I mentioned a while ago that my health hasn't been the greatest here lately, and thinking about that in combination with the million other things that are going on in my head has got me down today.
I've gotten rejection after rejection from possible job applications that I've submitted, and today, after interviewing for a great opportunity last week, I found out that I didn't get the job.
Am I sad? Yes.
Do I want to cry? Definitely yes!
Right now, in a moment of pain and sadness, it feels that everything is against me. I'm sure some of you who are around my age and are in the same boat as I am might have the same emotions going on. When I was younger, I always imagined myself after graduating from college in a place in my life where I could and would be able to care for my parents and their needs in any way that they needed, but right now, I just don't see that.
So, instead of praying like I should have in the moment, I went on a panic spree. I worked out, and when I didn't think I worked out enough for today, I did another work out! I began to over-analyze every situation and everything that I felt had gone wrong in my life, and began to feel overwhelmed.
When I feel the way that I'm feeling right now, I usually read one of three of my favorite passages of scriptures. They are:
- Psalm 116
"Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; Yes our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you" - Psalm 116: 5-7
- Psalm 42
"Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God." - Psalm 42:11
- Matthew 6:25-34
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - Matthew 6:33-34
For whatever reason, God lead me to read Psalm 42 today after all of the above happened, and as we all know, God's timing is impeccable. He knew that I wouldn't get the job before I even applied for it. He knew that I would feel stressed out about everything that's going on in my life.
In the moments that we feel God has forgotten us, He's actually ever so near us. He sees us in our pain and knows every hurt that we have, because He's felt the same way before. Although there's a bunch of craziness around us, and it might draw out some emotions we didn't want to come out, we can remain calm and at rest because our hope is in the One who has complete control of every little detail of our lives. He is our God and the help of our countenance.
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SDG
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